The Unsunken Memories

Funny how it started. The flashbacks.

I was preparing ingredients to cook. Remembered the time my late-grandmother (prayers for her) taught me how to peel off garlic and onion, help her, cook. She was like, "you never knew how to peel off these?", and I was like, "like how, for what? Never occured in my mind anyway".

Then I remembered my sister kind of feel; resentment toward my grandmother, as grandmother was saying she's not helping and stuffs, and compare her to our cousins. My sister would be like, "mom..... I always help around... grandmother always say I don't, she compares me to ........... "

Back to the days when my mother nagged.. why are you like this, your cousins are great in housekeeping, helping, etc. Good girls. -- I was invited for a sleepover at their home, their mother trained them, like how ring-master trains lion. -- My mother assume "monkey do what monkey see". But monkey had no focus, and monkey didn't know what for, monkey was busy experimenting over things monkey was curious. I guess, monkey didn't see mother, monkey sees other monkeyssss.... monkey got lots of siblings, maybe, monkey sees the elder monkeys and do as the elder monkeys. -- well well... pity my mother... raising monkeys... and one by one, off the monkeys to boarding schools (almost all. Majority.).

My mother, she had a soft heart, she didn't train, she nurture with love and care in her possible ways - kgs of laundry, no dryer machine, semi-auto, catered cooked food, organizings, cleanings, accompany children, attending to needs, husband, diapers.

Married in young age, gave birth a year later, and follow suit. Never really recovered emotionally, physically... a burnt-out mother, wife. Loyal. Too kind. Spiritually and holistically, she's kind of a different case of human.

And... to blackmagic... it arrived and be-fallen on us, most visible on her.

NLP practitioners often say, like attracts like. Perhaps the unholy found its spot. Not one... heard many... she was like gate-opened.

All praise to Lord, today she has control of her own body, her own spirit. Shall there be anything else left, Al-Mighty can dispose them.

Thus, mother, I don't blame you for not training me. I turned-out, ok. I am putting efforts to be better.

Background Check On DesaUrbon! \(*.*\)

Who am I?

I just happened to have lost all of that writing.. Due to DNS failure. I am not a strong-skilled writer. Supposed writing the same thing twice would make my writing better? I am not sure. I doubt that. I wrote my heart out in the first, lets see how the second-time write-up gives.

## Starts here ##

Who am I?

My cousin found out that we're of a Daeng's lineage, Daeng Parani, which means that I am part a Buginese. That Buginese married a Javanese. Their offspring married a Kelantanese Malay (let me refer as KM).

If I remember this right, KM is an offspring of Arab-Siamese and Kelantanese Malay, but I can't confirm it since KM does not really know and both KM's parents are Allahyarham and Allahyarhamah.

I was close to Allahyarhamah. At least, I felt close to her. I feel like I have an unfinished business with her that I imagined is finished, or I wish is finished. During her last few weeks, she requested me to accompany her to sleep. I would sleep on the floor since my aunt was sleeping with her on the bed. I would sneak to SMS my former boyfriend since calling-late-night-to-sleep would be a rude disturbance and impolite tooooo (*.*)***. During Fajr, she would pray beside me, on whatever space there was, because I was still sleeping on the floor (I'm a heavy sleeper). Then, she would read the Quran. Came the time for me to go back to University, as I was leaving, I shook her hands and kissed her hand and cheeks, she asked me when can we meet again, she was afraid that we would not be able to meet again. I shushed her and said to her that it was nonsense, of course we'll meet again.

But we didn't... That day, it didn't register in my mind that it was almost time for her to go, forever...

My feelings relate to this

Attached herewith is the lyrics

Said goodbye, turned around

And you were gone, gone, gone

Faded into the setting sun,

Slipped away

But I won’t cry

Cause I know I’ll never be lonely

For you are the stars to me,

You are the light I follow 

[Chorus:]

I’ll See you again, oh

This is not where it ends

I will carry you with me, oh

Till I see you again 

I can hear those echoes in the wind at night

Calling me back in time

Back to you

In a place far away

Where the water meets the sky

The thought of it makes me smile

You are my tomorrow 

[Chorus:] 

I’ll See you again, oh

This is not where it ends

I will carry you with me, oh

Till I see you again 

[Bridge:]

Sometimes I feel my heart is breaking

But I stay strong and I hold on cause I know

I’ll see you again, oh

This is not where it ends

I will carry you with me, yeah yeah 

[Outro:]

I’ll See you again, oh

This is not where it ends

I will carry you with me, oh

Till I see you again

Till I see you again,

Till I see you again,

Said goodbye turned around

And you were gone, gone, gone.

When she keeps coming in my conscious, that means she's in my subconscious and unconscious, which also means that she has a powerful impact on me. (In Freud's term, I had wronged the meaning of conscious, but, am right in its meaning)

*Our gift for you, to all Allahyarham, Allahyarhamah, and the living

AL FATIHAH

## To be continued ##


Turned out that the second write-up is better than the first, also because of new ideas and improvements.


Tell me, what you know about your lineage.


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